How quickly things change when you accept yourself.

Posted: January 10, 2018 in changes, daily life, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 I was outside sweeping the house  (like, the actual siding of the house.. I’m a psycho) and thinking about how drastically my life has changed in a year. Last year at this time I was spending 16+ hours locked in a bathroom, often laying in the empty tub contemplating suicide. Then I got a new diagnosis (borderline personality disorder) and realized that I had to make changes and fast. I had to get the kids and myself away from Troy (who tormented me) for good. I had to get off of the (9) medications I was on so I could think clearly bc I was taking medications for bipolar and depression – which I didn’t have (the bipolar part). BPD is totally treatable with mindfulness, dialectical behavioural therapy and a lot of self work and coping skills. 

A year later, I’m still not that great at those skills but I’m trying. I struggle every day with myself, but not with my life.

I no longer spend every day wishing I were dead. My kids and I are safe. We survived. We are thriving. 

For the first time ever  I’m in a good, loving, safe and supportive relationship. I have friends who love me, are there for me, and understand when I need to work on my own shit for awhile, without making me feel bad about it. 

This is the truest meaning of blessed and I’m so grateful. 

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Comments
  1. I’m glad you are doing well. I have been diagnosed Bipolar type 2 and seriously wonder if it isn’t really bpd. I feel like my symptoms really fit bpd much better.

    • jezzibelle says:

      Hello, thank you! You could easily have both as they come hand in hand sometimes. I highly recommend the books “Borderline personality disorder for dummies” (seriously, it’s a great book.) and this dbt therapy workbook!
      The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & … Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572245131?ref=yo_pop_ma_swf

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